Purpose: Students achieve better results in tutoring when they have strong connections with their tutors. Student learning experiences improve when they experience safety and support from tutors who establish personal connections. Use this guidance and the “Getting to Know You Conversation Bank” to learn more about your students and build a strong foundational relationship.
Creating a Safe, Positive Learning Environment
Building connections between individuals relies on social interactions through talking, sharing laughter, and attentive listening. Student participation and engagement grow alongside their ability to take academic risks once they experience a sense of safety through these bonds.
- Praise effort, not outcomes.
- Example: “I noticed you completed all the practice problems and earned 100% on your exit ticket. Your hard work helped you master these skills—great job!”
- Model behaviors and social skills.
- Explain behaviors as you model them.
- Example: “I want to be honest with you. I am becoming frustrated because I instructed the group to work independently, yet there is persistent talking. I might not have clarified myself, so I will pause to explain again. Please ask questions after I conclude my explanation.”
- Remain calm and de-escalate if a student has a strong reaction.
- Allow students to have sufficient time and space to manage their emotional responses.
- Establish trust through regular demonstrations of support and attention.
- Example: “I sense you’re feeling overwhelmed. How about you take a short break to get a drink before we talk?
Keeping Knowledge of Students Alive and Current
- Tutors can create meaningful instructional connections by consistently asking students about their personal lives and interests.
- Start every meeting with a quick relationship-building check-in followed by a game or icebreaker activity.
- Personalize teaching by incorporating student interests and linking lessons to real-world applications.
- Students should be motivated to present their understanding of the subject matter, which helps them develop self-assurance and stay involved.
Example Relationship-Building Activities
“Getting to Know You” Conversation Question Bank
Tutors can use the sample questions below to guide one-on-one conversations and deepen connections with students.
| Context | Question Bank |
| Students’ Social Lives |
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| Students’ Family Lives | Recognizing details about students’ family backgrounds, such as their cultural heritage and communication patterns, enables tutors to create meaningful connections and ensure that support is culturally responsive. These questions below will help you gain insights into students' home environments and the individuals they define as family; however, consider the questions you ask students to answer when sharing with new members or adults. Questions about family origins can be challenging for migrants and people with uncertain legal statuses. Students have varying comfort levels when sharing information, so tutors must assess their comfort during initial sessions.
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| Language & Literacy |
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| Math & Science |
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| Art & Culture |
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