Relationship Building Question Bank

Purpose: Students achieve better results in tutoring when they have strong connections with their tutors. Student learning experiences improve when they experience safety and support from tutors who establish personal connections. Use this guidance and the “Getting to Know You Conversation Bank” to learn more about your students and build a strong foundational relationship. 

Creating a Safe, Positive Learning Environment

Building connections between individuals relies on social interactions through talking, sharing laughter, and attentive listening. Student participation and engagement grow alongside their ability to take academic risks once they experience a sense of safety through these bonds.

  • Praise effort, not outcomes.
    • Example: “I noticed you completed all the practice problems and earned 100% on your exit ticket. Your hard work helped you master these skills—great job!
  • Model behaviors and social skills.
    • Explain behaviors as you model them.
    • Example:  “I want to be honest with you. I am becoming frustrated because I instructed the group to work independently, yet there is persistent talking. I might not have clarified myself, so I will pause to explain again. Please ask questions after I conclude my explanation.
  • Remain calm and de-escalate if a student has a strong reaction.
    • Allow students to have sufficient time and space to manage their emotional responses.
    • Establish trust through regular demonstrations of support and attention.
    • Example: “I sense you’re feeling overwhelmed. How about you take a short break to get a drink before we talk?

Keeping Knowledge of Students Alive and Current

  • Tutors can create meaningful instructional connections by consistently asking students about their personal lives and interests.
    • Start every meeting with a quick relationship-building check-in followed by a game or icebreaker activity.
    • Personalize teaching by incorporating student interests and linking lessons to real-world applications.
    • Students should be motivated to present their understanding of the subject matter, which helps them develop self-assurance and stay involved.

Example Relationship-Building Activities 
“Getting to Know You” Conversation Question Bank
Tutors can use the sample questions below to guide one-on-one conversations and deepen connections with students.

Context Question Bank 
Students’ Social Lives 
  • What do you do for fun outside of school?
  • What are your favorite activities with friends?
  • Do you prefer working together or competing?
  • What languages do you and your friends speak together?
  • What are you best at?
  • Do you participate in any teams, clubs, or groups?
  • What hobbies interest you the most?
  • Which people do you admire and consult when you need guidance?
Students’ Family Lives 

Recognizing details about students’ family backgrounds, such as their cultural heritage and communication patterns, enables tutors to create meaningful connections and ensure that support is culturally responsive.

These questions below will help you gain insights into students' home environments and the individuals they define as family; however, consider the questions you ask students to answer when sharing with new members or adults. Questions about family origins can be challenging for migrants and people with uncertain legal statuses. Students have varying comfort levels when sharing information, so tutors must assess their comfort during initial sessions.

  • Could you share a brief description of your family members with me?
  • What responsibilities exist between you and your family members?
  • Which family activities do you share with your loved ones?
  • What career or life path do your family members hope you will pursue as you grow older?
  • What do important people in your life do for work?
  • How did your parents experience school during their childhood?
  • Did your family and caregivers grow up here?
  • Where did your family grow up? When did they come here?
  • Did you and your family move recently?
  • Where did you live before here?
  • Which languages do you and your family use to communicate in your home?
Language & Literacy 
  • What language does your family use to text you? What about texting with extended family?
  • Does your household contain books, newspapers, magazines, or religious writings? Who usually reads them?
  • Does anyone in your family write lists for organizing and remembering things?
Math & Science 
  • Do you handle money day-to-day? What situations require you to do math with money?
  • Does anyone in your family build or repair things? How did they learn?
  • Does anyone in your family sew or cook using precise measurements?
Art & Culture 
  • Do you or a family member play a musical instrument? What instrument?
  • Who are your favorite musical artists or genres?
  • What types of music do you hear often in your community?
  • Do you have a favorite local artist (music, visual art, etc.)? What kind of art do they create?
  • What interesting places have you visited around the city?